OP/ED: Give moms capes and superpowers ... or leave 'em alone, wouldja?
By Christine Esovoloff
The cover of the May 21 issue of Time magazine caught my attention – it could be the picture of a gorgeous woman breastfeeding her three-year-old that drew my eye, but what really grabbed me was the title Are you Mom enough?
I think this question speaks volumes about the amount of pressure today’s society puts on mothers. And the pressure just seems to get worse as time goes on. In the past few decades, the amount of parenting options, opinions and criticisms we face have sky-rocketed.
It all starts in the first stages of pregnancy … and once that baby pops out, it really takes off.
Circumcise your baby.
No, don’t, that’s cruel.
Breastfeed past the age of two … but ewww, that’s gross.
Give your baby massages.
Teach your baby sign language.
Go to mom and baby yoga class.
Make your own baby food.
Use cloth diapers.
Oh, and don’t forget your kegels!
It seems it only gets worse from there. As our tots grow, so does the pressure. We are encouraged to pursue a career or go to school as we maintain a clean house, practice attachment parenting, teach our children a second language(once we have past the sign language stage), exercise to keep fit, cook healthy organic meals, look nice, participate in parenting committees’, hand sew costumes, shuttle our children to various extracurricular activities, spend quality family time, and all the while we are to pursue our own spiritual fulfillment and maintain a satisfying sex life with our partners.
In what world is all this stuff possible?!?!
I’m exhausted just looking at these things. Maybe some moms can make all that happen, but I know for-sure I’m not one of ’em. I did try for a short period of time to be Super Mom, but it didn’t quite fly. I tried to cook delicious meals with my baby strapped to my chest. I tried to incorporate exercise into my routine along with the dishes. And I tried to engage in child-led play with my children and come up with spicy new ideas for the bedroom. That lasted a day … well, not even … I ended up crying, pulling my hamstring doing lunges, burning the dinner, and all my husband got at the end of it all was a high-five as I staggered off to bed with the kids.
I was left feeling like a failure.
In all reality, some days I’m lucky if I can get my pants on right. My house is rarely spotless, I have never sewn anything for my kids, and there are some days where I look anything but nice. I do try, for the most part, to prepare decent meals for my family, stay connected with my kids, and maintain a relationship with my husband. However, some days I am not so successful and we end up eating macaroni and watching movies all day.
And guess what?! I have healthy, happy, well-adjusted children. So I figure I must be doing an alright job.
I think all the pressure on moms has gone just a little too far.
As I sit here, in my husband’s pajama pants with my unkempt hair, typing this amidst piles of unfolded laundry, I have decided to declare myself ‘Mom Enough’! To celebrate this new title, I plan to stay in my pajamas all day, feed my family leftover cake for lunch, and cuddle with my kids in front of the television. Care to join?
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