OP/ED: A 30-Something rhyme for Christmastime
By Christine Esovoloff
Twas the week before Christmas, and all through the house
there was plenty of stirring, but not one goddamned louse.
I had made extra sure we would all be nit-free,
just in time for St. Nick to come down the chimney.
We were over the pox, and the flu, and the cold,
just holding our breath, worried what next might take hold.
Tis the season when germs and bugs run abound …
Oh wait, I have children, in my case it’s year round.
Just bring on the vitamins and wash your hands a lot,
this time of year is worth it, if you can get past all the snot.
The kids are so excited, which can be kind of annoying,
I have little Christmas spirit at 6 in the morning.
I don’t mind being merry after about nine,
but it’s hard after evenings made foggy by wine …
and chocolate, and truffles, and cookies, and squares,
no wonder I no longer can squeeze into my favorite underwear.
“Oh, screw it!”, I say. It’s the time of year to indulge,
I’ll just embrace the ten pounds and extra bit of bulge.
This year, my goal is to make sure I enjoy my fine self,
with my children, family, friends, and a big jolly elf.
I’ve finished my shopping, I am right on the ball,
now all there is to do is sit back and enjoy it all.
Here’s wishing you and your family the happiest of times,
I’ll see you in the New Year for more columns and rhymes.
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and Happy Hanukkah too,
Sending blessings and well wishes from my family to you.
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