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The Electric Grapevine | Falling stars | 07.18.2010

Nik Green
By Nik Green
July 19th, 2010

Perhaps I’m just following it out of pure jealousy and morbid curiosity, but I have been all too amused and interested in the historic falls that two of the worlds’ more well-off stars took these past two weeks.

If Mel Gibson thought he had a lot of crap flying his way before, the s**tstorm that is forthcoming will pale in comparison even to the exploding bomb laden toilet he had to dodge in the exceptional Lethal Weapon 2. With both quality films and excusable mea culpas becoming more scarce, Gibson is set to experience a fall from some lofty heights perhaps even from farther up than the skywalking LeBron James.

I can assume that as you are online and are at least somewhat technology savvy, that you’ve heard the latest steaming pile of hate to spew from Mel’s’ lethal weapon.

The target of his seemingly unending anger is his mysterious ex- wife Oksana Grigoriev. Apparently on top of wishing her to be sexually assaulted en masse while using racial slurs like commas, Braveheart topped one romantic evening off by punching his ex in the face as she held their young child.

Anger Management Max’s friends list on Facebook must be diminishing at the same rate as British Petroleum’s fan site after he checked Jews, African Americans, gays and lesbians and now women off of his hate list all within a fairly compressed timeframe. As one comedian put it, Mel is especially screwed as he looks for a lawyer after offending Jewish folks altogether in Hollywood and beyond.

Friends such as Lethal Weapon co-star Danny Glover are likely blocking calls too. It’s hard to see Murtaugh answering Mel’s calls while being busy as a goodwill ambassador for race relations around the world for the past three decades. I can only hope that he would answer to simply say, “I’m too old for this s**t,” before hanging up the phone on Riggs’ racist butt.

Another man bent on ruling the world was only slightly brought back to earth after humiliating a city, a state and himself on national television last week. LeBron James has been all that is wrong with professional sports for a long time, and finally he’s the poster boy for it.

He publicly set becoming a billionaire as a goal before convincing anyone he is an appropriate heir to Kobe Bryant’s throne let alone Michael Jordan’s. James ruined an already unappealing city in Cleveland, by somehow expecting them to endorse his widely televised decision to vacate Ohio for South Beach Miami while taking the majority of Cleveland’s’ decimated economy with him.

The man, or should I say “boy,” has found it easy to surround himself with rappers before winners and declare himself a king before reaching the top even once in his sport, yet he continued to get a pass until this latest “decision” aired. I for one, am all for what he did, as I now have a classic villain to root against and as we all know a story is only as good as its villain. I’d much rather root for the comeback story that is Kobe Bryant than the insufferable brat James.

James’ image has given off so many odours that a man who was facing rape charges only five years ago has now excelled past him in terms of popularity. Kobe must feel like an enormous weight has been lifted now that he’s no longer public enemy number one in the NBA. Maybe Mel needs someone to up the ante on him. Unfortunately, Downey Jr. is clean, Mickey Rourke is winning awards and Lindsay Lohan was just sent to jail. Oh, and Christian Bale is so talented no one even cares that he’s nuts. Looks like Paybacks’ a b**ch Mel. And a terrible film to boot.

Related Links

YouTube: Christian Bale & Mel Gibson Phone Fight

YouTube: Lethal Weapon II – 1989 (Not on Toilets)

Categories: Op/Ed

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