OP/ED: Hooked on phonics. Seriously hooked.
By Christine Esovoloff
Since I am a lover of the written word (at least the writing part of it), it may not come as a surprise to you to hear that I am also a bit of a bookworm. Not a bookworm in the usual sense, though. I can go months without finding a novel that interests me and then, all of a sudden … BAM! I find one that I can’t keep my nose out of. But the thing is, it’s become a bit of a problem. I become so entrenched that I neglect my children, ignore my husband, and sometimes forget to eat. Seriously. I think I am addicted. I might even need a support group.
“Oh Christine, don’t be silly!” you might be thinking.
Or … “Geez, Christine, who gives a rat’s behind about your love affair with books?! Can’t you think of anything better to write about?!”
Well, this is my column and I get to write about whatever I like, so today you get to hear about my reading addiction. So there.
Anyway, it has become such a problem that whenever my husband sees me curl up with a new novel, his face turns white, he starts shaking, and he cries a little bit.
No, just kidding. That would be weird. But he does sigh loudly and shake his head with shame because he knows he’ll be single-parenting until I’m done.
Here is a typical ‘Christine is reading’ day in our house …
“Mom, we’re hungry.”
“Uh-huh, just a minute,” I say, not looking up from my book.
“Mom, are you done yet? We’re starving.”
“Yup, almost, just one more paragraph.” Eyes still glued to the pages.
“MOM. WE’RE HUNGRY!” they yell.
“Geez, you kids can be so selfish! I’m just trying to have some ‘mommy time’! Can’t you wait five minutes?!”
“Mom, it’s 3 p.m, we have been snacking on licorice and crackers all day! Can you please make us breakfast?!”
“Oh …sorry.”
See, I told you it was bad.
Wait a minute, don’t you be judging me.
I know there are at least a few of you out there who know exactly what I’m talking about. You, too, have stayed up until the wee hours of the morning just to get to the ‘end of the chapter’. You, too, have cancelled a lunch date with a friend because you ‘aren’t feeling well’, only to spend the rest of the afternoon reading. And you too, have cried at the end of a book because you actually felt like you were a part of the story and had deep and meaningful relationships with the characters!
That’s right, I’m on to you.
So what’s a girl to do? A reading addiction isn’t something that is widely accepted in society. How can I go about satiating my need for stories and keep my family going all at the same time?! Maybe I should start a support group.
We could meet at the library.
Or … maybe it isn’t really such a bad thing. I mean, it could be worse, right? I could be addicted to something life-threatening or dangerous. What’s the worst thing that could happen from being an avid reader? If anything, I think it is going to help my children learn survival skills. I mean, they are already learning food scrounging and rationing techniques! Let’s face it; I could be modelling worse behaviours for my children to learn. And who cares if I don’t talk to my husband for days on end … it will only make him appreciate me that much more when I come back to reality, right?
I feel better already! I think I’ll celebrate by curling up with my new book. However, if I don’t come out with some new columns in the coming weeks, you may want to consider staging some sort of intervention.
Just sayin’.
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